Thursday, February 15, 2018

Woke up with such a heavy heart for all the parents and teachers of the children in Parkland, FL this morning. And then started thinking about ALL of the families affected over the last 20 years because of stuff like this....I was in High School when Colombine happened so my adult life I've seen nothing but this all the time... So much pain and evil... And I can't help but think of the 19 year old that did this...and his predecessors... how lost and confused and manipulated by the enemy/demons/thoughts (whatever you want to call it) was he before he had the thought to do this... what kind of home life did he have? Were his parents involved and just missed warning signs or does he have a horrible home life?? Or was he a seemingly normal kid with involved parents??

Just couldn't shake the feeling that every Valentine's Day from here until forever would be filled with a yearning to hold, love, kiss, talk to their baby again. Of teachers forever affected when they go into work who love on those kids almost as much as their parents do.

It's really easy to see things like this happening over and over again and feeling defeated and scared and at a loss... just sitting and praying it doesn't happen to us. I just shake my head no, no, no constantly about this. Is it something like 17 mass shootings already this year?! What!? I don't know about you but I'm feeling like I'm becoming desensitized to it... because it happens so often ..."Oh another shooting on the news...on with my day...." NO! ... this should NOT be the new norm. I've have had so many thoughts course through my mind the last 7 years since I've been a parent when these things have happened... Thoughts about feeling helpless...Fearful to send my kids to school and wanting to hold them tight at home and quit my job to homeschool and see no one ever....I mean parenting is hard enough already without adding this in the mix.... Anger and frustration towards leaders in our country who are so stuck on their differences rather than coming together with their similarities to figure out what needs to change.... and then the scary mentality that it won't happen to me... I bet the parents affected yesterday said the same thing... Parkland, Florida was just voted the safest community months before yesterday....

No more... I can't change the laws... I can't make everyone in this world accept Jesus and know His love... I can't shelter and protect my children from everything... But I CAN prepare them the best I can and PRAY...

I will NOT allow the enemy and this evil to change my heart and mind towards this. That's what the enemy wants... Chaos, Confusion, Fear, Anger, etc. etc. etc. to separate us from Jesus and his Truth! Jesus IS VICTORIOUS ... He has already won this battle! On the Cross... Prayer is POWERFUL... as much as it's repetitive to hear "we need to pray about this" We DO need to pray about this... Consistently. SPECIFICALLY... But are we? Prayer for parents like us who drop off our kids and trust God and the school to care for them when we aren't there... Prayer for the teens/tweens in our community and across the country who are lonely and lost and being tricked and lied to by the enemy to make this unthinkable decision.. Prayer for awareness for the parents of these kids - that God will make the warning signs super clear and that they have eyes and the heart to care and see them and get them the help they need... Prayer that God will move in a mighty ways to move and change these individuals before it comes to another shooting - to intercede before more lives are lost with miracles if necessary... Prayer for the teachers and the staff of the schools for not only protection but the discernment and wisdom to see warning signs and give them the resources they need to safe guard our children at their schools... Prayer for the homes housing any future kids who might decide they want to do this and that Jesus will intercede and STOP this from happening again even if it isn't a home that knows the Lord - Send a Light to them Lord... Prayer for our country as a whole to put the correct laws and changes in place... Prayer for our country's, state's, county's, city's leadership officials to bridge the divide and make change happen... Prayer for our conversations with our kids... Prayer for our daily walks - that we don't get distracted by our busy-ness to not pray and pour into our kids (because that's exactly what the enemy wants).. Prayer that we continue to be a light to the world around us because you never know who you and your children are influencing around them.
I don't know what the future looks like... if I only focus on the news and what is happening in our world... it looks Bleak and Dark and Scary.... But the beauty of our Savior and His promises is that we only need to focus on Him... His Word... and Pray for guidance.

We CAN make a change We can have HOPE for our kids... if we're intentional about it!

John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 11:5 “The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”

Psalm 6:6-9 “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies. Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.”

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Two weeks to go!! Yikes!

Today I am 37 weeks 4 days pregnant! Tomorrow will be 2 weeks until my schedule c-section. I can't believe time has flown by!! Believe me... I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore...see...def. getting large.
My dr. appointment this past Tuesday went well... nothing to report. We are both doing well and no progress so far. As time is flying by it is somewhat unnerving to think about the c-section, the recovery, transitioning from one to two, and then starting all over with infant care and nursing. I'm hoping it all comes rushing back to me to ease my nervousness. But we are so excited to meet our new addition and introduce him to Ethan :) Ethan has already been pretty cute with my belly. Kissing and hugging my belly and saying: "Baby brother come out and play trucks Mommy?", "Baby brother still in there?", "He kick Mommy?"... it's very cute and I'll miss it a little bit. Especially knowing that down the road they won't always be that cute! LOL.
We are curious to see if he grasps that he came out and he's no longer in my belly... lol. We have started hearing some grumbling because we haven't shared our name ideas. LOL. Patience everyone! You will find out soon enough! :) We are so excited to see what he's going to look like, to hold him and start our next phase as parents :) My last Dr. appointment is Monday, October 7th...then from there it's my 8:30am c-section on he 18th :) Unless little guy decides to surprise us sooner...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Not so fun symptom...

I don't like to complain because I know that I'm extremely blessed compared to some other pregnancies I've heard about OR of friends I know. So I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but I just need to vent for a second...I never had to deal with this when I was pregnant with Ethan. I've had a reoccurring phenomenon that I've been dealing with for several months now... is HORRIBLE!! Starting at about 4 months along. I started battling some random bouts of SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction)which is basically where your pubic bone (yes down there) is pulling apart and shifting due to 'loose cartilage' from pregnancy hormones and just from preparing for birth. This causes pain while walking, rolling over in bed, most things... It was not pleasant when it showed up but it would only last a few hours and go away for the most part... so I just dealt with it as it comes. However, over the last couple of weeks the frequency of that has increased but a new symptom "lighening" has combined with it. "Lighening" basically occurs just from the baby dropping from what I've read. I suppose that was the perk of Ethan being breech all the way up until the end...he never dropped. Now that did come with its own issues (not being able to breath...sore ribs and diaphragm, etc.) but I feel as if this is worse. So right now I can't sit for long periods of time without major pain. This wouldn't be an issue if I was at home all the time because I'm not usually sitting down for long periods, I"m always doing something with small breaks here and there. But at work... where I sit 90% of the time... this is posing a problem. So after sitting for a time this will happen so I get up to relieve the pain... and then the SPD kicks in... So basically I can't sit, stand, walk, roll over in bed... yep... fun stuff. Only one month to go! I can do this!! :) And it's 150% worth it... I know... I don't like complaining... just venting... sigh... back to work.

35 weeks 3 days

One month from today we're having our second little one :) yay!

Monday, September 9, 2013

34 weeks... moving right along

We are 34 weeks pregnant! I can't believe it's less than 6 weeks from now we will be a family of 4! :) Very excited to meet our new addition... especially since he's clearly running out of room... and so are my organs. ;) Here's a belly pic. I have an appointment on Wednesday of this week. Our last appointment went well and everything was on track and both of us are very healthy! :)
Ethan is very cute talking about "baby brother". He kisses my belly and tells him goodnight... he likes to "smoosh" him by pressing on my belly which I usually put the kabosh on pretty quick before it gets out of hand lol. The other day he said "Mommy. Baby brother come out! I have a truck for him." It melted my heart. I know Ethan will be a great big brother :) I am so blessed :)

Monday, August 12, 2013

30 Weeks!

30 week belly pic! I haven't been very good at keeping up with these... sorry. I can't believe we're in the third trimester already! Crazy! 10 weeks to go!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

We're having another Boy!

This is at 10 weeks. Little Bean

Here are the ultrasound photos from 20 weeks!

Face on shot (kinda creepy)
Cute profile :)
 Profile & Arm 
It's a Boy!!
 3D photos!  Taken at 22 weeks.

Curled up... face with right hand & left elbow
 Eyes and nose